December 13, 2011

Dear Cheapskate Relatives : I don't Want Your Crappy Handmade Gifts

Dear Cheapskate Relatives,

I do not want to receive your poor quality handmade gifts for Christmas.      I'm sorry but your craft work is not really something I want.   The out put of your hobby is not something I desire. 

I know that you may have  read somewhere that giving a handmade gift is a good way to save money during the holidays.   That could be a good idea if you were actually able to make handmade stuff that anyone wanted.   Mostly thats just trite advice that gets copied and pasted and repeated back and forth from one advice column to the next.  I don't know if those people giving that advice actually think most people can make good gifts or what.  

Wouldn't want it even if I was named Bruce.
Let me ask you this... would you honestly like to receive any of my craft projects as a gift?   I know you wouldn't.  So why do you think I'd want you giving me your craft projects.   If you're honest with yourself you'll know that I don't really want that stuff. 

I appreciate you may be cheap or simply broke.   Thats fine and I don't hold it against you.   If you don't have the money or simply don't want to spend the money then its all right by me if you don't give me anything at all.    But please don't punish me by giving me a poorly made hand crafted gift I don't want just cause you don't have the money or simply don't want to spend it and don't want to feel guilty about not giving me a gift. 

If you want to be a cheapskate then thats OK.  WE know our family is full of them.   Just give me a cheap gift or something free or simply give me a card you print out on your computer for free which I'll just discard.   Please don't give a gift that takes you a lot of time to make and that I don't actually want.    If you don't want to give me a gift at all then thats just fine.   Honestly.  If clinging to all your money desperately is more important to you than spending some of it on your relatives then just be honest with yourself about that    Thats what being a cheapskate is about... caring more about your money than other things.

Hand made laptop sleeve?  No thanks.*
I have particularly low sympathy for you if you have debt problems.   The fact that you're up to your eyeballs in debt wasn't any of my doing.   I don't see how I should be punished by being forced to act like I enjoy getting your hand made junk as an excuse for a gift.  I didn't force you to buy that new truck that you are having trouble affording and I certainly didn't have anything to do with you getting all that credit card debt.  Not that I don't understand or have sympathy for your situation.  You know I've had a pile of debt in the past too.  But you know my debt never resulted in me giving you my hand crafts for Christmas.

If you were better at making stuff by hand then maybe I'd feel differently.   If you could cook as well as my sister then some nice home cooked baked goods might be a good gift.   Or if you could knit like my cousin then a hand knitted blanket like the one she gave me might be great gift too.   But we know you can't make that stuff.  


ps. ok you may have guessed that this isn't totally serious.
pps. except the one relative of mine who should know who they are

Photo images by funkomavintage and by Lisa Brewster
*Honestly that hand made laptop sleeve is pretty nice looking. 

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